The BEA Writer Conference - PITCH SLAM Part2

We'd had our meeting with Christine, it had gone very well, and we were both fired up. Alicia and I headed into the Pitch Slam practice. I wasn't sure how this was going to help. As you know, I'd already had the whole pitch ready to go, I knew it inside and out, if you woke me at 3am, I could have done it perfectly - in spanish - or even ancient greek.  

Then we got in. Superstar Janet Reid was sitting up in front of everyone, and the host invited a few people up to go pitch Janet on the spot. I sat back and watched carefully. Janet was incredible. She was funny, real funny, she even screamed a few times. But she helped each and every person in that audience. I realized the super pitch I'd worked out and could recite in a few dead languages was simply not going to work.

Thank god we had some time after the session before the pitch slam began. I needed it to work on my pitch. It didn't take long. I used Janet's advice and suddenly a tidal wave of energy poured over me. I was ready.

Disaster! All right, it wasn't a total disaster. The guy did invite me to upload some pages, but he told me straight out he didn't like the story, thought it sounded muddled, and that there was no human element to it - a sense that the main character would be relatable. Ouch! 

All I could hold on to was the fact I knew Faye had been so overwhelming positive about the story and characters, cocktailed with my successful pitch to Christine, who'd been so warm and responsive during our whole conversation. But I can't lie - that did sting.

I went down my list and found the next agent. She had no one at her table for the moment, so I ran over and fired on through the pitch - just to get this next one over with. She handed me a card and told me to send her 30 pages. All right, all right - I can handle that. Nice! Back in business!  

The rest of the day was a blur. I met lots of people all getting ready to pitch their stories and it just felt great. People really seemed to be having a wonderful time and that made me so happy. I love it when things are going well for everyone, you know? Just puts a smile on my face. 

Alicia and I met up again at one point, I think it was on line to pitch the incredible, savvy, super-agent Tina Wexler from ICM. I was in the middle of talking to Alicia about Wicked (she was going to see it with her husband that evening) when I had to go up to pitch Tina. Tina was cracking up - she'd seen me talking to a few people I guess and wondered how I met so many people so quickly. The fact is, I really love these settings and I really love meeting people and learning their stories. That's why I'm a writer, I love stories! I had a blast pitching Tina. Seriously, folks, if you can't have fun telling Tina your story, you simply aren't qualified for life. She's awesome! She takes notes on what you're saying, she asks questions, she makes you feel completely at ease, and even jokes around!

The day was wrapping up and I'd pitched 8 agents. All 8 had requested material, even the devil spawn agent, who disliked my story but for some odd reason thought I should send him pages anyway. Go figure.  The guy was actually very nice and I'm only calling him the devil's spawn, because for the slightest moment after my pitch to him, I stumbled into my swelling black hole of insecurities and very nearly gave up my quest to conquer BEA.  Dude - seriously, you're ok with me!

And that was it. I had an incredible time. I met a new friend, someone I can sense will be in my life for a long time to come. And I walked away with 8 requests for my work. What more could I possibly want?

I'll tell you.

I wanted to take a nice slow stroll home by the river. When we got there that day, it was nasty out - grey, cloudy, and spitting rain. At some point during the day, the sky had opened up into a golden wonder with zero clouds and sunlight glimmering off the water. It was a living metaphor for the day.

On my lovely stroll home by the water, I called my wife to tell her the news and then my other biggest supporter - mom.  Both were thrilled.  There was still much work ahead and both reminded me. But I'd taken a huge step forward, and they let me enjoy the moment.  

3 days later, I got my first rejection.         

Seriously? You Like It?

There I was with only a single request from a single agent and I was beginning to panic.  I hadn't sent out enough queries, and deep down I knew that, but truth be told - I just don't like all this business stuff. It's draining.  Still, it's a necessary evil and I began to reshape my query for another round of attempts. 

Then I received an email that made the pleasant tickle seem like a big, violent gash across the eyebrow with lemon juice dripped in for good measure.  In other words - this email ROCKED! Faye did like the MS, it turned out.  She liked it quite a bit in fact. I've never had anyone react to something I've done with that much enthusiasm before. She did, however, think it needed some "strategic trimming".  She thought there was entirely too much adventure and that some of the scenes didn't add to the book or were vital to the plot.  She figured ideally I'd be able to cut at least 100-150 pages out.  She said if I was willing to do some editing, she'd be happy to read it again, and hopefully work together.  

I know what some of you are thinking.  How can you cut 100-150 pages?  It's actually quite simple.  You do it because if you don't, your book doesn't get published.  

I love editing.  Most people think I'm crazy.  But it seriously feels like taking a splinter out when I can lift large chunks of text out of something. My producer and I used to love slicing out even something as small as a single frame from our films.  For those that don't know, that's 1/24th of a second!  But by doing something that seemingly inconsequential, the whole thing flowed better.  Same with writing a novel.  Taking out a single word will suddenly make a sentence lift off the page and grab you.  

I wrote back to Faye immediately thanking her for her kind words and her thoughts about a new revision (which let's face it.  with 100+ pages taken out was going to be a new draft)  I told her about some of my ideas and asked for her ideas as well. 

Faye is an angel! I want everyone to know this upfront.  No matter what happens with the book from here on out - it is a far better manuscript for coming across her table. She had some incredible ideas on possible edits and it got my mind twirling.  I simply could not put on the breaks and literally within a week, I'd cut out 130 pages!  

After reading through it, I was surprised to see how well her ideas assimilated into the world I created. It flowed so much better!  So I sent it back to Faye and surprised her with my speed.  I got worried that perhaps I'd worked too quickly.  I'm nothing if not insecure.  She said she was eager to read it again.  I pointed out I too was eager for her to re-read.  

The waiting game began again.        

Well This Is Easier Than I Thought. Oh Wait. No, It's Not

While the under 24 hours response time was not what I was expecting, the response itself tickled me in a way only that thai masseuse had managed. And I needed a full on blast of moscato for that tickle. This was a sober tickle, but still one of the greatest I'd ever had. Looking back, it wasn't much, and I probably blew it way out of proportion, but I'm a writer.  That's what we do! No, that's not right. I'm a drama queen. That's what we do!  Ah - better.

Faye Bender is one of Michelle Tessler's friends. God willing, she will eventually think of me as one. It was her response that tickled me, and I hope she doesn't read this blog post until after we become friends. Otherwise, it is quite possible we will not, with the many ways the first part of the previous statement can be construed. What Faye wrote in her email was quite simply that she thought the story sounded like a lot of fun and that she wanted to see the full MS. Yeah - that's it. That's what got me so excited. But to have someone request the full manuscript in under 24 hours of sending a query was something I'd never have guessed. Working in film, you're lucky to get a response from someone's assistant's assistant's younger brother's pet hamster who spells out the words in little hamster pellets.   

So I sent her the MS and thought to myself - seriously, it's this easy? I sent out another 10 or so queries to agents and publishers. The responses started coming back within the week. Easy? NO SIR! Form rejection, form rejection, form rejection, form rejection, flaming paper bag with dog poopy at the doorstep (I'm guessing this wasn't from an agent and more likely some practical joker in the building), form rejection, form rejection, and then about 5 more form rejections.

I began to wonder, did Faye just request the MS because her friend sent me? Clearly my query letter wasn't doing me any favors with the rest of the agents. My answer came in another email. This one from Michelle's other friend. He agreed with everyone other than Faye and thought The Kringle Khronicles was not for him. Friendship clearly had nothing to do with it.  Maybe Faye really liked the idea? 

A few weeks later, I found out.