Thursday, July 30, 2009

Well This Was Fun!

Late last night on Twitter, rockstar agent, Janet Reid, posted a link to one of the funniest song parodies I'd ever seen, written by the brilliant, H.L. Dyer. I laughed out loud, and nearly woke up my soundly sleeping baby and my not-so-soundly-sleeping-but-in-the-other-room-trying-real-damn-hard wife. Here's a link for those who missed it:

Anyway, I was totally inspired by it, and today, during my son's nap, I went ahead and wrote my own.

I chose to go with Dammit, Janet from The Rocky Horror Picture Show to express my love for all the agents of the world out there. 

So sit back and enjoy. And as you read the lyrics, remember to hum Dammit, Janet to yourself, or this just won't work, now will it? All right, let's face it, it probably won't anyway, but I had to try!

Dammit, Agent

Hey Agent (Yeah, dude?) I’ve got something to sell

I know other writers put you through hell

With their rudeness, impatience, and snoozers they tell


My plot points were weak, and I knew it, Agent

My characters 2-D, I blew it, Agent

Then I studied your blog and improved it, Agent

There’s one thing to say and that’s


Dammit, Agent, I need you…


The word count was long, but I sliced it, Agent

The characters talky, I diced it, Agent

I got carpal tunnel; I iced it, Agent

Now there’s one thing to say and that’s


Dammit, Agent, I need you…


Here’s the script to prove that I’m no joker

It’s real good, your assistant told me so

And if you don’t sign me, I’ll choke her

Oh A-G-E-N-T I need you so


You’re out of your mind thinking that I’ll sign you, oh Dude

Your story sucks and worse, you smell like swine poo, oh Dude

I’ll find a new assistant if I have to, oh Dude

I’ve one thing to say and that’s


Dude, I’m mad I ever met you


Oh, Dude, oh dammit!

I’m mad, d’oh Agent!

At you, I need you-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou

There’s one thing left to do-ah-ou, and that’s


Go start a war over on Twitter

Where we'll rage at each other crass and bitter

We can both find your assistant and hit her

There’s one thing to say and that’s

Dammit, Agent, I still need you

Dammit, Agent; oh Dude, I’m… starting to turn around

Dammit, Agent; See? You need me too




  1. If anyone wants to hear the song "Dammit Janet" here's the link:
    Dammit Janet on You Tube.

  2. This is amazing! Love it love it...

  3. Absolutely freaking hilarious! Love it!

  4. Dude, I know you don't have all the time in the world on your hands, so I don't know how you managed this one. So funny!

  5. LOL Too funny!

    Lynnette Labelle